Monthly Archives: December 2013

Preview: Gator Bowl – Nebraska vs. Georgia

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This year’s Capital One Gator Bowl bowl matchup is failing to light a fire in anyone’s pants, as apathy sweeps Georgia’s and Nebraska’s fanbases.

It’s hard to get excited about a less-exciting repeat of last year’s matchup. The series is tied 1-1 after the Huskers lost to the BullDawgs last year. Nebraska walloped Georgia 45-6…in 1969. Both teams have been plagued by injuries this year. Both teams are 8-4. Both teams didn’t make the conference championship. Both teams lost a few games they really shouldn’t have. WHAT AN INCREDIBLE STORY LINE.

Remember the good ol’ days?

Aaron Murray! Taylor Martinez!

Sadly, we don’t even get to see Taylor Martinez again. I had some hope that he might end up back in the huddle, but alas, he has yet to recover from a slew of injuries that happened when he apparently was hit by a truck or something.

*Not actually T-Magic.

And so it seems that, like all of my birthdays, there will be no Magician on New Year’s Day. There will also be no Aaron Murray. While this makes for less excitement, the Huskers have a little bit better chance, I’d say. But their back up has shown some competence, so it’s no time for the Blackshirts to ease up.

We do, however, have this…

We can also expect a show from Ameer Abdullah, because why wouldn’t he put on a show? He’s a beast, and nearly unstoppable at that. Todd Gurley, is almost as beastly as Ameer, so these two beasts will be pounding it out in the run game.

It’s a glimmer of hope in a game that has failed to really excite anyone. I’d be lying if I said I’m not excited at all. I get excited about the most mundane things, like egg nog or pairs socks that come in packs of eight (16 socks! Imagine the possibilities!).

The real travesty here is that the game is at 9 a.m. on the west coast. Nine fucking a.m.

ON NEW YEAR’S DAY!

The powers that be must not care about hangovers. They don’t care that it is my civic duty to get absurdly drunk before midnight, plant a kiss on my dog, drink until 6 a.m., and incessantly sing Auld Lang Syne at the top of my lungs until I’m locked in a closet.

It is excruciating to get up with a headache akin to splitting wood and spend the next four hours yelling at my TV. The games give me enough headaches as it is. Coupled with the nauseating combination of champagne, beer, Fireball and jet fuel… this game will go down in the books as one of the worst experiences in my life.

They’re just asking too much. THE PEOPLE WANT TO PARTY. GIVE THEM TIME TO RECOVER.

See, it’s not just Nebraska fans. Georgians want to party too. Even if they are drinking out of a Bulldog’s mouth. No matter the vessel, the end result is the same…

This guy is (hashtag) DRUNK. My hero.

Then there are those that will party through the night, toeing the line between party crazy and straight-jacket crazy. They don’t sleep, they don’t stop drinking. They may be on some other substance that’s not alcohol. Delirium is a close friend, and enthusiasm peaks with…body paint?

Follow me on Twitter at @blackshirtfresh so I can bitch about my terrible hangover.

Recap: Nebraska vs. Iowa

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Sigh.

Another regular season in the books, only this time with no visit to a conference championship. Nebraska’s season fizzled out against a potent Iowa team that looked much more prepared…and healthy.

The Hawkeyes scored about as many points as the Huskers have injuries. But that goes with the territory of playing a game where 200-pound sacks of muscle run full-speed at one another. So the injuries are no excuse. But at least Iowa now has their first win against Nebraska since our joining of the Big Ten, and their first win against Nebraska since 1981.

I guess we’ve got ourselves a rivalry? Kinda.

 

Alright, so the jury is still out on that one. I guess we’ll have to wait a few more years, but by then we’ll be back to playing Wisconsin and that’s where a lot of the drama lies. Though, #WiscHateWeek just doesn’t have the same ring as #IowaHateWeek. Speaking of, I’d say it was a success. The point of #IowaHateWeek is to have some fun, make sweeping generalizations, and, in my case, poke fun at the stupidest laws in the state. There were some unhappy folks, regardless of Iowa’s win.

Only an Iowan would think it’s possible to fuck yourself with a twitter trend.

HEY! That’s FauxPelini’s schtick! See, they’re unoriginal, too.

And then THIS guy comes flying back in!

The reason face palms were invented. In fact, lets take a time out to look at what else he had to offer Nebraska fans.

That hashtag though…

Apparently IOWA in this case stands for Ignorant Old White Asshole.

Back to our regular scheduled programming…

Classic Nebraska: 5 National Championships and a .703 all-time record.
Classic Iowa: 1 National Championship and a .530 all-time record.

I’ll keep my Classic Nebraska, thank you.

I get it…But I don’t. Trimester. Three. Not four. A fourth trimester would be one hell of an OT.

And then this happened…

 

That’s what I like to see. Get some other folks in on it! Alas, it wouldn’t sit well with one Iowan in particular.

 

 

Donkey punching. Always the answer to generalized shit-talking.

His contribution to Iowa’s recruiting efforts are impeccable…

He’s not particularly fond of me either. And judging by the grammar in the following screenshot, it was either him or a friend of his that complimented my dry humor, then butchered basic sentence structure and the English language while telling me I’m not good at writing.

Screen Shot 2013-12-03 at 12.13.54 AM

Only an Iowan would mix a hockey metaphor into a football tweet.

I do some research, slap two correlating facts together, and people STILL think I’m a dumbass. I CAN’T WIN.

I already can’t wait for next year! Even thought it’s not much of a rivalry.

Seeing as Iowa is excited about their 8-4 record and Nebraska is bummed about the same record, I’ve come to the following conclusion: The Huskers and Hawkeyes won’t be rivals until Iowa gets good enough to be as disappointed about an 8-4 season as Nebraska is.

We’ve got a long way to go.

Follow me on Twitter at @blackshirtfresh.