Category Archives: Penn State

Recap: Nebraska at Penn State

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It almost happened. Karma almost came back to bite us, but it didn’t.

As I mentioned before the game, I was nervous that there’d be some sort of retribution from last year’s goal line fumble. The refs tried SO hard. So so hard. But in the end, it played out alright, I’d say.

It was apparently very cold.

Are you SURE about that Lanny?

Someone won’t be happy.

“But MOOOM, all the other kids get to go to the game!”

If these guys can do it, so can Bill.i

(As of publication, these two were still trying to unfurl their testes, lodged firmly between their livers and spleens.)

I guess there are worse places to be…

You’ll never be president with a mouth like that, young lady!

Way to jinx it.

“Yeah, GO NITT! BEAT CORN.” I’d rather eat corn.

It’s games like this, when it’s cold and windy apparently, that something very little can have a sweeping impact on the game later. In this case…

Hipster hate! Hating before it was cool to hate.

You should have maybe hoped harder.

Of course, the game did come down to that goal post, but not without some drama.

There was Quincy Enunwa’s touchdown catch that made everyone go “fuck yeah.”

And then takes the lead with a made PAT. LOL.

Then Nebraska did something that we NEVER see. A BLOCKED PUNT.

See. You didn’t believe me, but I told you!

Of course, it took the punter dropping the snap to get us out there, but hey…I’ll take it.

You should be sorry. you should ALL be ashamed of yourselves. There was an immeasurable amount of tweets that followed that same format.

How about ButterWORTHLESS?! Eh, eh.

(I’m really sad that didn’t get more love during the game. I thought I was so clever.)

Sadly, after coming up with some stellar field position, Ameer Abdullah fumbled. We got bit by the fumblebug.

Cue* – Ain’t nobody got time to translate your spanglish!

Thanks a lot BOBAMA.

So instead of a 14-6 lead (AHAHA MISSED PAT) at halftime, Nebraska went in only up 7-6.

So some shit happened, Penn State scored…AND THEN KENNY HAPPENED.

99*

Atta kid.

WHOA. Lot going on there.

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE. CAN YOU PEOPLE GET ANY WORSE?

I shouldn’t have asked…

You’re welcome, asshat. Keep in mind that shush there at the end. It comes back into play later.

Besides, he had the best photo of the day.

STARE AT IT STARE AT IT STARE AT IT.

*FAINTS*

More stuff happened, and then the CALL happened. With Nebraska down 20-17, Ameer tore off a touchdown run to only have it called back after a phantom penalty call. OMG it’s the karma.

OOO Dog face. Shots fired!

 

*SIGH*

The refs just can’t make it easy. After my careful and expert review, I determined that the penalty was a bit of BS. Sam Burtch made an insurance block, and that Penn State defender looks like he would have fallen over if there was a hot fart directed at him, let alone a half-assed block. That was a football play. Nothing other. Poor Ameer.

Nebraska, fumbled and Sam Burtch recovered it, keeping the Huskers’ hopes alive and simultaneously redeeming himself for something he didn’t need to redeem. A field goal, and a couple of punts later and we are headed to OVERTIME!!!

MAAAYBE he can redeem himself.

Such grammar.

Man, you guys are brutal. I’d like to see you get out there and do that.

Or Pat Smith.

Penn State held the Huskers on three downs, forcing a field goal to win. But of course it would not be that easy. Enter, referees.

Such. High hopes.

That’s because it was colder than a witch’s titty that night. But I bet he had Natty Ice running through his veins later! WOOOO.

Enter angry  Penn State:

High-quality shit talking here…

WELL IT WAS COLD. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

He wanted to hear the congratulatory praise from his teammates and your stadium was too loud for him to hear.

But he did. And he didn’t even HAVE to put his finger to his lips. He put the ball through the uprights, and that’s what counted.

If anything shushed Penn State, it was that whooshing sound of the Ficken’s missed field goal only a few minutes earlier. OOO BURN.

Enter Nebraska’s week 13 darling:

HAHAHA I CRACK MYSELF UP SO HARD. No really, though. Here he is. You can continue to crucify the guy above for all I care.

Atta boy Pat. You keep wooing them ladies!

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